Well join the queue honey, because by the looks of things so does everyone else in this town.
I’m pretty sure none of these hip young things have a musical bone in their body, although it certainly doesn’t seem to be a deterrent from the look.
Personally, there is nothing I find more annoying than some wannabe hipster poncing about the stage in a pair of skin-tight pants and an idiotic haircut.
But alas, it seems my opinion is that of the minority, because as I witnessed at a gig this week, the youth of this town are absolutely loving the rock god look.
Walk down any street in Melbourne and you will see all the young dudes getting around in rock god attire.
I’m pretty sure none of these hip young things have a musical bone in their body, although it certainly doesn’t seem to be a deterrent from the look.
So, even if you’re not a musical genius, following these golden rules will ensure you look like one.
Gentlemen, let me begin with this warning.
If the idea of getting about in a pair of your little sister’s jeans and looking like you haven’t slept in about fifteen years turns your stomach, then stop reading now.
This look is not for you.
But if you relish the thought of denim in your butt-crack, read on…
Repeat after me: ‘plaid is perfection’.
Get thee to any clothing store on the planet and purchase a plaid shirt.
Actually purchase seven, one for each day of the week.
On second thoughts, just buy one because everyone knows real musicians don’t bathe.
The tighter the pants the…
There is no way to finish that sentence.
Why? Because there is nothing inherently good about a man in super-tight pants.
However, to pull off this look you must embrace skinny black jeans and wear them everywhere.
Remember, this is the only option for pants, so if you’ve got chunky legs and a lady-butt you’re in trouble.
Is Con is good.
I’m not referring to your cousin the mechanic or some dubious cured meat product.
I’m talking about Converse sneakers.
Buy some and wear them with your skinny pants.
Leather up.
Get yourself a leather jacket, preferably in black.
It will look marvellous with your plaid shirt and skinny pants.
They sell leather jackets with hoods now; they’re terribly trendy but insanely expensive.
If you don’t mind cheap and nasty, get down to the Vic Market where you can pick one up for about 40 bucks.