Even the best dressed celebrity gives their stylist a day off now and again, proving that no one can avoid the occasional fashion faux pas. A faux pas is an error in judgement. Back in the day it was a faux pas to leave the house sans hat and gloves, today fashion has been democratised and as a result there are less rules and more freedom to experiment. While labelling our current situation as fashion anarchy might be extreme, there’s no denying that fashion faux pas are becoming increasingly horrifying. Walk down the street on any given day and you will be confronted by a barrage of fashion crimes: socks with sandals, visible panty lines, muffin tops, underwear as outerwear, Crocs and double denim are all frequent offenders. People really should know better, but here are some other, more serious infractions against good taste.
Crime 1: It’s all white
A crisp white shirt is a lovely, classic look. Stepping out in a head-to-toe white ensemble is not. Unless it’s your wedding day, you have been invited to Sean Combs’ white party or you are playing at Wimbledon, there is no reason to wear all white. What can you even do in a white outfit? It’s fraught with danger, you can’t sit anywhere, eat or drink anything or let anyone touch you lest one of their grubby little fingers leaves a mark your pristine whiteness. Too hard basket.
Crime 2: Leather top to toe
Just like all white, all leather isn’t a good look either. In fact, just steer clear of an outfit that is ‘all’ anything; especially plaid, lace, suede, velvet or flannel. Yes, leather is in this year, but that doesn’t mean you should encase yourself in it. A good leather look is all about balance; if you wear a leather skirt, tone it down on top. If it’s a leather jacket, keep everything south of your navel simple. Use leather wisely, you don’t want to look like the newest recruit to your local bikie gang.
Crime 3: Dressing like a grandparent
Hipsters take note, dressing like your grandparents is not ironic, it’s just wrong. Housedresses, chunky shoes, pleated slacks, socks with saggy old brogues, depressingly old blouses and cardigans-these things don’t actually look good on healthy young people. I can appreciate a vintage piece as much as the next person, but there’s a difference between classic vintage and just plain old.
Crime 4: Jeggings
I realise that you can’t walk into a store these days without falling over a rack of jeggings, but that doesn’t mean you should be buying a pair and it certainly doesn’t mean you should be wearing them. The combination of jeans and leggings is nothing short of an unholy union; this is mostly because jeans are pants and leggings are not. Don’t be fooled by the denim colouring and the little pocket printed on the back of them, they’re still leggings. And wearing leggings as pants is too much information for everyone around you.
Crime 5: Corporate wear with sneakers
Are you trying to channel Melanie Griffith in ‘Working Girl’? I know it was a good movie, but her hair was terrible and so was her choice to pair her runners with her corporate wear. I’m sure it’s comfortable to wear your runners as your walk to work in your beautiful pencil skirt and blouse, but is it right? No. It’s not. Why ruin a perfectly lovely outfit with the addition of your stinky, dirty old gym shoes? The old saying about mixing business with pleasure applies to clothing too. Keep your work clothes for work and your joggers for the gym.
Crime 6: Inappropriate footwear
A vast and vague category I know, there are countless shoe crimes committed everyday: dirty shoes, scuffed shoes, old shoes, white shoes, ugly shoes. Clearly wearing shoes is fraught with danger. But some shoe crimes are worse than others. Exhibit A: Ugg Boots. These glorified slippers are perfect for lazing about the house, wearing while you’re on holidays or even for making a late night ice cream run, but I’m not sure they’re proper ‘boots’ or that they should be worn as such. Exhibit B: wearing shoes that you are incapable of wearing, like high heels. The solution here is that if you can’t walk in heels, then don’t. Not everyone can and there are plenty of attractive footwear options for those who don’t. Or, if you insist on wearing high heels, then learn how to walk in them before you leave the house. There is nothing worse than seeing a woman teetering down the street on a pair of impossible heels-not only does it look ridiculous, it is no doubt dangerous.