Right now, with the European economy taking a serious nose dive, Eurovision Song Contest may be the only happy respite from all the gloom and doom Europe is experiencing.
Germany hosted it this year, an irony that would be not lost on many, since they’re winning the EU Economy Contest hands down. Here in Australia, as surely it must be everywhere else, Eurovision is seen as an object of fun and very rarely taken seriously. The question is, if that is the case, how has it managed to survive for so long? Sponsors, blah, millions of viewers – yes, for the same reason Christmas keeps coming back each year. Because it’s about the spirit of the event, isn’t it? But what is the spirit of Eurovision? To be distinctly European? This year there weren’t the typical cliches of national identity that we have come to enjoy. The Maldovans put in a bit of effort with their funny cone hats and an angel on a unicycle. That’s Maldovan, right?
The Greeks had a couple of Doric columns in the background to make things absolutely clear. The English were an all male strip club with a corporate zing. And the winners, Azerbaijan, a cross between Wham! and a Turkish Harem fantasy. Must go to Azerbaijan then, for a holiday, what with the Aussie dollar being so strong. The winner’s song was alright. Most of the songs were only alright with nothing to blow you away.
The voting system was as predictable as ever, reminding everyone of the old tribal alliances that have existed in Europe for centuries. One is left to wonder if this contest’s ambigious definition of democracy, that it is to leave the decision to ‘the will of the people’ and not to the ‘experts’, is yet another kick in the head to culture. Because culture is all that we have right now, and only by the hair of our chinny-chin-chin.
So, bring back the ridiculous ethnic costumes please, including the extra layer of cheese. And thank you France for doing what you do proudly every year, by announcing your results in your own language and not in some retarded pan-ethnic English with an American TV inflection.