Generations of Greek Australian parents have relied on their families, especially their parents, to raise their children. Grandparents provide a safe and secure – and cheap – alternative to child care. But the grandparents provide more than just normal babysitting duties; they provide a cultural hub for the children to be raised aware of their Greek identity. They allow them to be exposed to their heritage first-hand – whether it’s through language or food – and also give them a greater understanding of their Hellenism.
The Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) has found that baby boomer grandparents are caring for 40 per cent of babies, toddlers and preschoolers whose parents work. A report released by the AIFS states that Australian grandparents have become a permanent feature of family child care arrangements, with nearly half of under three-year-olds with employed mums cared for – at least part of the time – by their grandparents. The AIFS’ Trends in Maternal Employment and Child Care research report shows that in 2011, the proportion of children being cared for by their grandparents was almost the same as the proportion of children who spend time in long day care centres.
The report shows that in the early 1980s about four in 10 mothers were employed, compared to more than 6 in 10 in 2011 and that over this period there has been growth in the availability of formal child care such as long day care and outside school hours care.
Mother of two, Alexandra Damasoliotis, says her in-laws are vital in allowing herself to work part-time and her husband to work full-time, which takes a lot of the financial burden off the family.
“My older son is starting high school next year and the fees are expensive,” she explains to Neos Kosmos, “and for me – although I don’t earn a great deal of money – it helps us with the bills.” But not just with saving money on child care, she says the assistance with food helps a great deal too. She says her mother-in-law shops and they have another member in the family ensuring that her sons get fed their daily requirements of fruit and vegetables, even providing for the family.
“If she makes a big dish of pasta, for example, she’ll make enough for Ilias (her son) to eat, as well as make sure there is some leftover, so it saves me from rushing home after work and buying something and making dinner,” she explains, stating that the grandparents are always there to provide sustenance for her children.
Alexandra lives across the road from her in-laws and says it was a conscious decision by herself and her husband to do so. She says she does it partly for her in-laws as well who, as they are elderly, can feel independent in their own home and have family close by, but also because it helps keep the family together and they can assist in child care.
Single mother Sarah Barlow lives with her parents and her six-year-old daughter Ana Sofia and her siblings. All the family pitch in to help her so she can work part-time and study at university. She says the assistance provided is not just from her parents, but her Greek grandparents who – in their 80s – look after their seven great-grandchildren. It was in fact her 85-year-old grandmother Irene who assisted in the upbringing of Sarah, so she says she can’t think of anyone better to assist raising her daughter.
“My Greek grandparents- on my dad’s side – were very involved and very concerned with how their grandchildren were brought up,” Sarah explains, “almost to the point they were intrusive, but that’s the way they are – it’s second nature to them to help.”
She remembers as a child they would always bring over food for the family, as they still do now, and their house was a meeting place for all the cousins to congregate during school holidays. The grandparents still have Christmas and Easter celebrations and Sarah says “this keeps the family connected”.
AIFS Senior Research Fellow, Dr Jennifer Baxter said grandparent-provided care was used by a large proportion of Australian families as mothers sought to find ways to manage child care while holding down paid jobs.
“When mothers were employed with children under three, four in 10 were cared for by a grandparent at some time during the week, almost the same proportion of children (47 per cent) who spent time in a long day-care centre,” Dr Baxter said.
“Even when children were older – aged between three and five years – around a third were still cared for by a grandparent, which is roughly the same proportion as those attending a pre-school or a long day-care centre.
“Grandparents were still busy even when children reached school age, with around 16 per cent of children with employed mothers being cared for by a grandparent, only slightly fewer than the 18 per cent of children who were in outside school care.”
Sarah remembers when she first moved into her parents house following her divorce – they were able to assist in payment of school fees, and now that she’s begun work, she’s able to not only pay them back but also contribute to the household. As well as not having to pay for child care, this provides a great deal of financial assistance for the 26-year-old mum. She said if she no alternative she would put Ana Sofia in child care but between her family and her ex-husband’s family, she hasn’t needed it. When she has on the very rare occasion, she says that her daughter “doesn’t enjoy it” and that it is “inconvenient and expensive”.
Alexandra says having her in-laws look after her three-year-old son is “priceless”.
“Ilias is in the hands of someone I can trust,” she says, adding if she had her child in day care she wouldn’t know for certain what was going on. She also states that the fact that Ilias is hardly sick is testament to her son being brought up by his grandparents.
“I know they are going to look after him and do the best for him – maybe spoil him a little bit, but that’s what grandparents do,” she says. “And if there is something that is an issue, I feel comfortable with talking to my in-laws about it.”
“Involving grandparents is something we know that many parents seek out as a child care option because children are still being cared for by family in a home-based setting,” said Dr Baxter. “Families are looking for family-based solutions so that they can still maintain the care of children themselves where possible, squeezing in work around caring for children or by bringing in grandparents.”
Alexandra says her son is learning Greek by speaking only the Greek language with his grandparents. He also enjoys making pites and koulouria with his 68-year-old grandmother Paraskevi. She says by having her in-laws raise her sons, it is helping them maintain their “Greekness and culture”.
“My grandma speaks Greek and my daughter doesn’t speak Greek so they have developed their own way of communicating – they play games and do things and they have an understanding between the two of them,” says Sarah, who says her daughter is receiving a well-rounded upbringing, having a South American father and Greek grandparent and great-grandparents.
Alexandra says her sons also receive this well-rounded upbringing because her in-laws are very social people, they live in a street were most of the neighbours are Greek, and often visit, and they always have people over to stimulate her son’s education.
Sarah says if she has to work at night time – as she is a shift worker – she knows her parents are always there to read with her daughter. They also assist her with her computer studies and says that even though her mother doesn’t understand things such as power point presentations, little Ana Sofia is teaching her grandmother how to use it.
Having an only child going through a divorce, Sarah says it was difficult time, especially for her daughter, who was only four at the time.
“[Ana Sofia] was used to having my husband and me around, so for it to be just her and I … she was almost lonely,” Sarah explains. “She could understand why we moved house and why we weren’t living together, but she was lonely, so living with my parents and my younger siblings, she has a sense of a family dynamic that she wouldn’t have had if she and I were alone in a flat somewhere.”