There is a saying that goes: ‘If one does not go to the mountain the mountain will come to you’.
As an avid motor racing fan I am sure that I have seen at least 90 percent of all Bathurst Classics from the late 60s to present day from the couch potatoes’ exercise lounge.
So this year was not different, the mountain came to me via the TV in arguably the most comprehensively covered motor race broadcast in the world!
As usual for the annual ritual, I was up on Sunday at sparrow’s fart when Network 7 commenced their broadcast at 7.00am. The hardest thing in the morning is listening to the trackside commentators urinating in my pocket about this, that and the other thing, when clearly some of them wouldn’t know a bonnet pin from a grease nipple!
Although I also spent half of Saturday riveted to the plasma screen, I still wanted more and sat through countless repeats of the same old, same old, top ten dash for cash interrupted only by Kentucky F***k n’Cluck meal deal or a hardware house wannabe Don Berzerk telling me to mow the grass instead of smoking it!
Of course, by the time the race is about to begin at half past ten, the poor old bladder is fast becoming the Hoover Dam and a quick piss-stop is in order as well as an espresso fix before resuming warming the seat and waiting for the pre-race circus to subside and the business end of the day to begin.
So after three and a half hours of excruciating BS we were on the warm up lap before letting the beastly V8 Supercars loose around Bathurst for the next six and a bit hours. At least that would keep the red and blue ferals happy who had camped for days up at McPhillamy, waiting for another ’71 Bill Brown roll to entertain them!
Pole sitter for the third year in a row was ‘Frosty’ Winterbottom’s Ford, second was the new “Brock-Messiah” Craig Lowndes, partnered by “pensioner” Skaife, suffice to say there were only three Blue oval boys in a den of seven Holden lions at the pointy end of the grid. Right on time the red lights went out the flag was down and they were on their way at breakneck speed.
The Hoons down Conrod didn’t have long to wait for the action as still on the first lap, less than 2 minutes from the start, Fabian Coulthard had a doughnut blow out at 300 km/h. Flipped and rolled the Bundaberg bear six times disintegrating all the panels on his Holden racer before coming to rest in the middle of the kittylitter. Coulthard emerged from the wreck unscathed paying tribute to the car’s safety cell and sand traps for saving his skin but probably not the skid marks on his jocks.
As the race unfolded it was obvious that the General’s product was superior to the Ford machinery especially after ‘Frosty’s’ Orcon Steel Ford collected the wall at the cutting and had to go in for minor repairs. James Courtney’s Falcon then became the lead Ford determined to chase down the rampant Holdens, but to no avail and he ended up finishing fifth.
In the ups and downs of the day, fuel stop strategy became the focal point. If anyone was going to emerge victorious it was the guys that had less of a splash ‘n’ dash than the next bloke.
The early running was a surprise from the 33, Gary Roger’s Motorsport Holden of David Besnard who drove the mamba out of his Holden in keeping the Vodafone car at bay for many laps until it suffered terminal tyre wear and had to relinquish the lead.
Old man Skaife was going great guns in the 888 Vodafone Commodore and finally leading the pack until he popped a rib and in excruciating pain brought the car in for a driver change.
Lowndes finished the race in record time of 6 hours 12 mins 51 secs following the 161-lap great race that was only broken by four safety car periods. Apart from his record fastest lap on Thursday, he produced another marathon effort, after driving the final 79 laps of the race to cross the line in a form finish with the number 1 Team Vodafone Commodore of Jamie Whincup and Steve Owen in second place.
The Toll Holden Racing Team Commodore of Garth Tander and Cameron McConville pulled the finger out after a poor start, nearly collecting a ‘roo at 160 km/h and a falling door in the pits, to finish third after Will Davison smacked the 22 Toll HRT car into the wall while comfortably in third with 20 laps to go.
The emphatic Bathurst 1000 victory was Craig Lowndes fifth and Mark Skaife’s sixth overall wins of the great race.
And that was my day in front of the goggle box except I immediately followed it through with the telecast of the Japanese F1 Grand Prix, then the Moto GP and by the end of my 12 hour stint, I needed a crowbar to dislodge my fat ‘kollo’ off the sofa!
