This is the extraordinary love story of Manolis and Maria Nikolis, two early Greek Australians who after enduring the hardships and tragedy of war-torn Greece (during the German occupation) and subsequent civil war, as well as physical and emotional abuse in the hands of their own parents, found each other and were connected with love for almost 62 years.
“My parents were two incredible human beings that went through a lot but were blessed to find one another and build a beautiful new life in Australia,” says the couple’s daughter Sophia Nicolis Tsouvalas who just published her first book titled ‘A Divided Heart’; a book dedicated to her parents and their migration story.
In this heartfelt memoir, Sophia takes the reader on a journey through her parents’ lives, capturing the experience of moving from Mesohoria, a little village on the Greek island of Evia, to a new life in Australia.
Manolis’ and Maria’s journey takes us through the harsh realities of everyday life in a small village to the early 1960’s when the family decided to migrate and settle in Sydney, a city on the cusp of societal change.
Maria was able to release the pain of her past and embraced Australia with open arms and gratitude.
For Manoli, leaving Greece was a huge wrench and his yearning for his birthplace never waned.
MANOLIS
Born in 1931 in a very poor family, Manolis, who worked as a shepherd, left the village at the age of 20 to do his compulsory three years of national military service. The war in Korea had broken out in the mid 1950’s and as Greece was an ally of America, the young man was called upon to take up arms.
Manolis gave his final salute to his commanding officer on 18th January 1955.
As a civilian after the war, he spent two years in Athens living in a tiny, rented room facing Exarhia square. He worked as a bus conductor and enjoyed the single life in the cosmopolis, relishing time away from the ever-present demands of life as a shepherd and his controlling, vindictive mother who used to abuse him daily.
Before leaving Athens, Manolis went to Piraeus to farewell his older brother Yanni, his sister-in-law Maria and their baby, as they had been sponsored by the Australian government and were joining many others who were paving the way of migration to Australia.
Following his brother’s departure Manolis felt duty bound to return to the village to help his father with the goats and recommenced his life as a shepherd.
“Even though dad loved his village, he knew he had no prospects of a comfortable life there. In an attempt to change his life, he made a spontaneous decision and along with three friends he put in an application to migrate as a single man to Australia. Two of his friends’ applications were approved fairly quickly, but in a classic case of bungled bureaucracy, dad’s approval papers didn’t reach the village until three years later when he was already married and already had his first child. As he had put up with his family ridiculing him for not passing the prerequisites, he felt mighty satisfied that he could finally prove them wrong.”
MARIA
From the tender age of 8, Maria worked hard helping her father in the fields. She was the eldest of her siblings, therefore her father expected a lot from her. Maria was not allowed to rest and would endure a tremendous amount of physical and verbal abuse should she dare to complain about the workload her father put on her at such young age.
“My grandfather was a really hard man that showed no emotion or love to his wife and children. My mother has endured so much abuse in his hands that it is a wonder how she hasn’t needed psychological help to heal her traumas,” reveals Sophia.
Maria grew up to be a beautiful and hard-working young woman. She therefore had quite a few suitors deemed to be a good match for her.
“Even though women usually did not have a say in such matters mum stated quite categorically that she was not interested. With the support of her yiayia Hatzesha, she was able to stay strong and stand her ground. Her father was not happy that mum was steadfast in her rejection of these prospective suitors. She was twenty-five after all and was considered to be getting on in age.”
UNITED FOREVER
Although twenty years from their first meeting had passed, fate decreed that Manolis’ life was going to be joined with Maria’s.
Manolis met with Maria and told her that although the decision for them to be together had already been made by others, it would be up to them to make a life together.
“My parents met by proxy, but they were really the perfect match. Mum had endured much village gossip about her mistreatment at the hands of her father, and many had made allusions as to her honour. Dad gave her his hand as a mark of their personal pledge to each other on that day. He said that he would not leave her, and that he would stand by her side. He did not want anyone to say a bad word about her ever again.”
LIFE DOWN UNDER
In 1962, aged 31, the couple together with their daughter Sophia, boarded Patris.
“My mother could not erase her past but from that moment she made a start on her life with my father,” says Sophia.
The family settled in country NSW and Maria and Manolis started working in factories, where they both had to endure being called wogs and dagoes.
Maria and Manolis both struggled with the language, they felt and looked different, and they knew ‘they didn’t belong’ but the love and respect they had for each other gave them strength and courage to keep going.
“My sister Kristina and I were blessed to belong to a happy loving family. I don’t ever recall my parents fighting, arguing or yelling or even telling us off. They were so gentle and kind, probably a result of everything they had been through as young children.”
Manolis and Maria managed to educate their children and travelled back home a few times to visit their beloved village.
Emotionally scarred by her past, Maria did not return to Greece until after her father’s passing.
Tragedy struck when Manolis was diagnosed with COPD, (Constrictive, Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). Maria became his full-time carer.
Manolis passed away peacefully as the sun was rising on November 26, 2018, fifty-six years to the day he would have been waking up to the dawn of his first day in Australia.
LIFE WITHOUT MANOLIS
After the loss of her husband, Maria became very introspective. She continues to grieve inwardly and maintained that lifelong stoicism that has become her mantra.
She tries hard to control her emotions, as she never wants her grandchildren to witness her pain and turmoil. At the age of 91 Maria is still struggling to adjust to a life without her husband and constant companion.
“My parents were a couple who never stopped talking to each other. After nearly 62 years of sharing their day-to-day routine, all is quiet, and my mother finds the silence defeaning. The epitome of strength and grace she goes through the motion of getting on with her life. She sees Manolis’ empty chair every day. Now she sits alone reflecting on loves and losses. She feels like she has lost her purpose and any relevance to life.
“She asks me ‘if I don’t have a lifelong partner to look after what am I to do?'”
A DIVIDED HEART
“A divided heart is a chronicle of life recognising through relationships that define us. It allows each of us to examine our heritage, our identity and where we feel we belong. Intertwined within the narrative of turmoil, longing, loss, and ultimately love, are themes of history, traditions, food and culture which will resonate with many. This is a poignant story of the importance of family and wanting to leave a legacy for future generations,” concludes Sophia.
*The book ‘A Divided Heart’ is now available to pre order by emailing the author on sophtsou@gmail.com (cost $25 + postage)
