This Sunday, May 14, most of the world will be celebrating Mother’s Day. I find myself longing to be part of Mother’s Day celebrations enjoying a lunch with my mother and my family, spending time like families do. The reality is that this will always remain a mere wish, as my beloved mother passed away many decades ago, and my family and I are only left with cherished memories of lunches and celebrations.

Though my mother’s passing was all too premature, her invaluable life lessons continue to guide me through my life’s journey.

My mother was an extraordinary influence on my life and despite her passing, always will be. She helped me grow intellectually and considerately. She taught me to love, care deeply and be other centred.

Despite enduring hardships and adversity, my mother was an inspiring woman – strong, loving, compassionate, highly respected and adored by many. Her roots trace back to Nea Raidestos, a village populated by refugees from Asia Minor who found new beginnings in Thessaloniki, Greece. Born and raised there, she learned from her own mother, who was orphaned at the age of 12, the true meaning of self-belief, resilience and perseverance. With my father by her side, they arrived in Australia in 1961, determined to forge a new path and build a better future for themselves.

As I reflect on my mother’s life, I am struck by how different my own path might have been if she was here with me along the way. Reflecting on my upbringing, I am grateful for the difficult lessons and values instilled in me by my mother. Though growing up I often struggled to understand their significance, I now realise this is what has guided me throughout my life’s journey.

A dynamic and extraordinarily talented woman she was exceptionally community minded. My mother drummed into me the importance of service to community, self-awareness and humility. That you could take pride in your achievements but had to be grounded and remain humble. This resonated deeply with me as a child and continues to shape my perspective of life.

Moreover, my mother’s selflessness and devotion to others were truly inspirational. From a young age, she taught me the value of helping others and the fulfillment that comes with serving your community. I vividly recall many instances as far back as my primary school years when my mother firmly told me that our sacrifices for others hold the greatest worth.

It’s a painful truth that, for the women of my mother’s generation, sacrifice was a constant companion in their life. They sacrificed their dreams, ambitions, careers, and sometimes even love, in favour of marriage, family, and children. There were few opportunities back then for most women to pursue their dreams and realise ambitions as their status was, unfortunately, often predetermined.

Even today, as I meet many women – mothers and grandmothers at Fronditha Care – their stories of resilience and perseverance never cease to inspire me. I listen to the telling of the hardships they faced, the battles they fought and how they stood strong for the sake of future generations and I feel a profound sense of gratitude and admiration.

Among the stories of family life, happy recollections and joy, they share stories of the desires they had as young women – the youthful plans and dreams that in all too many instances never came to be. Regrettably, society at the time failed to provide the opportunity to countless women to realise their ambitions.

Success in life, of course, is deeply personal and subjective. For some, it’s the bonds of family and friends and for others the pursuit of a fulfilling career or the satisfaction of helping others. What truly matters, however, is that everyone is given the opportunity to pursue and realise their potential and life success.

The love and guidance of a mother can never be replaced, and for those who have lost their mothers, the pain and loss can be overwhelming – no matter how many years pass. I have experienced the deep pain of this loss and to this day wonder what my mother would say or do in so many situations. Would she be proud of my sister and I, and our life’s accomplishments based on the legacy she left us; what would she think of the family that grew from her lineage especially her grandchildren; what would her perception be of our lives’ success?

Often, I felt my mother, was realising the life she wanted for herself through my sister and I. She instilled in us a love of learning, culture and travel, encouraging us to broaden our horizons and understand the world around us as deeply as we could. She inspired us to be the best we could be and gave us all she had.

I would give anything to have even a few moments with her – to see her again today, to coffee together with my sister, to share her favourite sweet Ekmek, listen to her favourite artists Parios and Dalaras, and to talk about everyday things, even if for just a few moments of time.

Deep inside, I know my mother would be proud to know that a girl who is a descendant of refugees and born in Australia, achieved as much as she has. But the truth is, none of this would have happened if all the women and mothers before this little girl did not overcome incredible obstacles, fight their own battles, sacrificed their dreams, so that she could be.

So for those for whom it’s still possible on Mother’s Day and every other day too give your mother an extra big hug and an extra big kiss. And remember that if you ever disagree about your life’s course with your mother, chances are that one day you’ll understand why your mother has high expectations for you.

For me, no matter how many years pass, no matter what I live through, my mother was, is, and will be my guiding light and my life’s compass.

Faye Spiteri OAM

CEO, Fronditha Care