I am not hoping that with this article the topic of suicide will be addressed. I wish I had time to write more and bring examples. However, I think more on this needs to be written and talked about in public. Real life stories about what families go through and who are affected by suicide need to be brought to the public’s attention.
This is why I am writing my own personal account today.
I went to a Greek Orthodox Church with my two children on Sunday the 6th of April looking forward to sitting in church and praying and reflecting in silence whilst listening. What I did not expect was to walk out of there feeling like I had been slapped by the priest.
I love to listen to the priest at the end of his service, when he tells a story or lets people know how to behave in our church. This particular day though, after the priest in my church finished his story about a little girl who turned to prostitution at the age of 12 for 17 years, he ended his talk with a statement that suicide is not accepted in our church; not only that, but that it cannot be overlooked just because a psychologist provided a piece of paper.
I was outraged, the tears came streaming down. Yes, I have been touched by suicide – my brother took his own life. How was this priest’s statement supposed make me or anyone else touched by suicide feel? How is it supposed to make any family members feel, who look to God to help them to get through this. My brother asked for forgiveness from close family and friends whom he felt he had done wrong by. Does this not count for anything? The Greek Church or this particular church is not teaching love. They aren’t teaching spiritual fruits and they certainly don’t teach the love and word of God.
I don’t think suicide is mentioned anywhere in the bible. I wish I had the time, I would read it all but I read little by little each night. There is no hope, love, patience, kindness, joy or peace felt when you leave this church after such a statement on suicide. I felt awful that day, the whole day I couldn’t stop crying. The only thing that is preached is guilt and anxiety.
I have always believed in God and not until my marriage was on the rocks did someone give me a book about God and taught me those values which I guess I was never told in a sense.
That helped me through this time in my life and brought my family close again and my husband. I have God to thank for that and the friend who passed it on to me. She taught me how to love and pray for God. I want my children to have faith and pray but not like this. I cannot express in words how disappointed I was after this experience. I draw on my brother’s strength every day and pray that he too is in a better place.
I understand Greek but unfortunately I cannot express myself in such a way as to speak to the father of my local church myself. I am hoping that this article, as short as it is, will hopefully make someone say something other than that suicide is not accepted in his church. Those not affected by suicide have no idea as to how a family feels or deals with this.
If suicide is not accepted and the family calls to ask for some sort of blessing do you just throw them to the wolves, so to speak, and let them fend for themselves? God’s door is closed and they are looking at hell. How can you live with yourself, Father, when you are saying this? Where is the support and the understanding? No one is saying to accept this as being normal. But something is happening to this young generation today.
Life is going so fast that some can’t keep up and there are pressures outside of the church which cannot be ignored just because this priest believes so or the church says so. It is unfortunate but mental illness is common in today’s society and it cannot be ignored or overlooked because God gives life and only he can take it.
Everyone that I have spoken to, or mentioned about the action of the priest were very disappointed or hurt. I don’t want to step foot in this church again. My mother, who carries the suicide of my brother with her every day, or any mother who has been through this – how are they supposed to feel and deal with this? Suicide needs to be talked about.
The priest himself of the above mentioned incident, since so many listen to him, in a way needs to be some sort of psychologist to his parish and offer some comfort.
*S.K. is a Greek Australian who resides in Melbourne.
Anyone across Australia experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14. Lifeline is a confidential telephone crisis support service available 24/7 from a landline, payphone or mobile.