In the traditional setting of the Greek Australian migrant home, many subjects, including sex and sexuality, were and still are taboo.

When Melbourne-based Greek Australian Steve* was ‘coming out’ as a gay man in the ’90s, this challenged him and led him to seek out interaction with other Greeks in his position.

With the help of the Victorian AIDS Council, he was able to sow the seeds for what is now known as the Greek and Gay Support Network, which is approaching its 20 year anniversary.

Although a small independent group, they have developed their ability to connect with the community through a fully functioning website and Facebook page.

Followers can also sign up to an email newsletter, and have the option of attending monthly support group meetings, in addition to Greek and Gay events including picnic gatherings and an annual dance party.

An informal group without a traditional hierarchy system, the committee is made up of five to six people who are responsible for the functioning and marketing of the group and its activities.

John*, Greek, gay and in his 50s, is one of the committee members.

Up until about 20 years ago, he was living what he refers to as the ‘almost perfect’ Greek life.

With a degree in hand, a good job, a beautiful wife and two kids, things started to take a turn in his 30s.

“I fell in love so I got married quite happily, had my children and then later in life discovered this other side of me,” he tells Neos Kosmos.

His sexual identity is something which he believes was hidden in his subconscious and slowly started to reveal itself.

Neither of his parents took the news very well, recalling their advice to go and see a psychologist, even a priest to receive communion … whatever it would take to help explain why all of a sudden their son was claiming to be attracted to men, and ultimately to halt his development.

This is when John stumbled across the Greek and Gay Support Network.

“It was very difficult,” he recalls.

“That’s the good thing about the group, the support side. You get to hear about other people’s experiences and you take what you need from each of those.”

The group’s mission is to raise awareness, acceptance and understanding of the GLBTIQ community across the wider Greek Australian community.

The support network brings together individuals of a Greek background who identify as either gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender, intersex or queer and supports them with services such as group meetings, information about counselling services and social gatherings.

The picnics hosted by the group provide a relaxed and welcoming environment, where people are encouraged to bring a friend or family member along with a plate of food to share.

These events bring together up to 40 people, while their bigger events, such as the ‘dance parties’, which take place once a year, have been known to attract between 400 and 500 people.
The dance party is run as a fundraiser for the support network, as it does not currently receive any financial support.

“It’s pretty much like any other Greek night you can think of, except that it’s got the twist that it’s a Greek and Gay event.

“They feel like they can dance and do whatever they want to do without being judged because they’re dancing with a girl or they’re dancing with a guy,” he says.
But for John and the other committee members, it’s not just about organising social events.

The important thing he stresses is the significance of gaining exposure for the group so that people in the community know that they exist.

That’s the committee’s aim for the 20th year anniversary next year.

The network will strive to get more involved with the Greek community, creating greater ties with other Greek organisations as to create an even larger network of support.

Although the Greek community excels at coming together and garnering attention for various festive events, John tells Neos Kosmos that the Greek community needs to do more in recognising and including minority groups such as the gay and lesbian community.

The group sees men and women between the ages of 18 and 65, at times even older, attending the meetings and events.

“Nowadays it’s a little more acceptable and they’re not having as many issues as we were having 20 years ago, which is good.”

“Our generation is a lot more accepting than our parents’ generation. More and more people are coming out, so families are becoming accustomed to it whether they like it or not,” he says.

However, despite the signs of progressive thinking that have slowly developed, there are still some very sad stories in the community, with one of the biggest issues still facing Greek Australian families being ‘Ti tha pei o kosmos?’ (What will everyone say?).

A few years back, John recalls one of the men who started attending the meetings and his tragic ‘coming out’ story.

A minor, under the age of 18, his parents, unwilling to accept the news, threw their son out of home.

With no other support from family or friends, he had no alternative but to live on the streets.

“I couldn’t believe it when I heard, because I never imagined that a Greek parent would do that to their child.

“As much as we have issues with our parents for a number of different things, at the end of the day we’re still their child,” he said.

But for a parent of a child who identifies as being one of the various strands of the GLBTIQ community, John advises the two important things to remember that can make the transitional journey a lot easier are respect and unconditional love.

“Remember that they’re your children and love them unconditionally, and I stress the word unconditionally,” he says.

“We’re fortunate that we do have a culture that is very warm and accepting. It’s just a matter of getting them to accept more things than they’ve been able to accept in the past.”

For anyone wanting further information about the group and the services available, visit www.greekandgay.com.au/ or visit their Facebook page www.facebook.com/greekkaigay?fref=ts

*Surnames withheld