Apparently some pseudo-sporting team from Melbourne recently emerged victorious against a united outfit from a city called Adelaide.

Amazingly, I hear that lots of people rolled up, paid a fortune to get in, and witnessed a paltry goal get scored in an apparently exciting afternoon’s entertainment.

Codswallop.

Thank God this poncy, nancy-boy stuff is over and the real footy season began on the weekend.

Yep, 86,972 people saw a gladiatorial clash at the “G’ last Thursday for the sell-out opener, the Carlton versus Richmond clash.

The sacred and sanctified Sherrin was bounced in the middle of the ground and the whiff of anticipation was palpable.

This was the real stuff, Juddy versus Cousins.

Aah, the footy had returned.

I had been plagued by omens of footy’s resurrection in recent times.

Intriguingly, a  couple of weeks ago I accidentally bumped into Kevin Sheedy, the ex-Richmond champion and rudely interrupted his lunch (though “Sheeds” subsequently forgave me).

I proceeded to admonish “Sheeds” for taking all the glory on the Benny Cousins comeback, when, in fact, it was the venerable NKEE that first urged, in print, that Ben Cousins be given another chance.

(I also annoyed “Sheeds” by reminding him that he unnecessarily knocked Jezza’s teeth out back in 1975…).

It’s been a lean time for both the Tigers and the Blues in recent times but I predict great things for both of these teams.

OK, an 83 point loss is not a great start for Richmond but a season is not defined by a loss in the first round.

And Benny pulling a hamstring was an unpleasant sight but he’s overcome greater Sissyphian hurdles in the past.

They’ll both make the eight, for a start. Look, if Obama can become President of the USA then God definitely exists.

Ipso facto, Fredddy Nietzche was off his rocker and now’s the time for faith and optimism.

Forget round one.

I think there’ll eventually be a betting plunge in Darwin for the Tigers to beat Collingwood in the Grand Final, following a successful Ben Cousins’ drop-kick from 60 metres out (after the siren).

Now, I barrack for the Blues – although I went into self-imposed exile between 1980 and 1982 after Jezza was dumped from the club – but my wife and 5 year old daughter barrack for the Tigers.

The young one even has a Richmond jumper.

Accordingly, I didn’t really care who won the game because “football was the winner.”

Theo Giantsos is a fleelance writer and a regular contributor to NKEE.