When it comes to underwear, women are in a different league. Our underwear comes in every colour and fabric available and each style has a different purpose and function.
Women’s underwear can be as simple or complex as you like. Plain and practical for everyday use, heavy-duty to smooth out bumps, invisible to stop panty lines or, for those special occasions when you have an audience, as mind-bogglingly sexy as it is complicated.
But today we are focusing on the gentlemen. And while you don’t have quite as much choice as women, your underwear has come a long way since the days of beige Y-fronts and woollen long johns. So what are your options and do they have any effect on your chances with the opposite sex?
Can men’s underwear be sexy?
The answer is yes. But unlike women’s underwear – where small is sexy, men need to be a little more practical in their choices and start taking a little more pride in their jocks.
If there is one thing that is decidedly un-sexy, it’s a pair of old, tattered boxer shorts with holes in all the wrong places. Wearing old, crappy underwear says, “I don’t care, I’ve given up.”
It suggests that there’s not a whole lot going on downstairs and you’re not too keen on investing in the area. I’m not telling you to go out and buy a pair of designer daks, but never underestimate the effect that a pair of neat and clean underpants can have.
Also to be avoided, silk boxer shorts. Unless you are a teenage boy, or someone else is buying your underpants, you should not be wearing these.
Apart from being a little weird and highly impractical, I understand that there are many men labouring under the delusion that silk boxer shorts are sexy. Let me assure you, they are not.
To be avoided like the plague is any underwear that features the logo of your favourite sporting or racing team. Your genitals and the Holden racing team are in no way connected.
Also, don’t wear any underwear featuring Loony Tunes characters, crazy pictures or stupid slogans like, “I’m horny.” Well guess what, suddenly I’m not.
Think about what your underpants are saying about you. Designer underpants are all well and good but not really that impressive and may leave girls wondering why you’ve forked out so much cash to wear another man’s name on your knickers.
Bonds shorties (boxer briefs) are probably your safest bet. They’re comfortable and they suggest that you lead a reasonably active and healthy life. Plus, you can be safe in the knowledge that you’re equipment isn’t jangling around like some loose change in your pocket.
One thing I would never suggest is the option of going commando.
To venture into the world sans underpants is a risky manoeuvre. Do you really think it’s clever to have your tackle dangling so dangerously close to the metal teeth of a zip?
Not wearing any underpants says, “I am a destitute student who is too broke and lazy to do my laundry.”