Love against all odds

Stavros and Margy Kalomiris are like any other married couple. They live, laugh and love together, share each other’s beliefs and passions and do so whilst living with cerebral palsy.


‘What a beautiful home’ is my first impression on walking into the marital house of Stavros and Margy Kalomiris. Wedding pictures, precious moments of their lives shared with family and friends, adorn the walls.
I’m ushered further into their home by a very proud man. A man who, until he met the love of his life, was a shadow of his former self. Frustrated and alone, wheelchair-bound Stavros struggled for years with his life afflicted by cerebral palsy. Until he met Margy.

Margy and Stavros’ journeys with cerebral palsy are as different as they are similar. But together they have created a way to live, and most importantly to love.
Where Margy’s disability may limit her from being able to pick something up, Stavros is there for her; and when Stavros struggles with speech, Margy is there to help her husband express himself.

“Does she know what you want to say?” I ask Stavros. A smile of excitement rushes over his face as he nods and answers with an unequivocal “yes”.

In love and life, closely-bonded couples understand each other and have the ability to finish each other’s sentences, but to do so out of necessity is wonderful to watch. To be able to understand your partner, to give them an avenue of communication, is nothing short of a miracle.

Stavros and Margy’s story is one of survival, struggle and hope, but above all, theirs is a story of love. And that love is felt throughout when you are in their presence. As any couple in love, they are enamoured with one another and in awe of each other’s abilities, even whilst they contend with the challenges of their own disability.

Stavros and Margy met as students at Glen Waverly Special School. In the same class, they did what any other students would do.
Stavros made Margy laugh by making fun of teachers, and it was the joy that Stavros brought to Margy in their schooldays that sparked a curiosity in her to pursue a relationship with him years later.

A chance meeting between Stavros and Margy’s brother reunited the couple in adulthood. There and then, Stavros had asked him for Margy’s phone number and although filled with nervous butterflies, he called straight away.

“I felt really special,” smiles Margy, remembering that first call.
“I remembered all the good times at school and thought to myself, if there were so many good times then, maybe we could develop some kind of relationship and see how it goes.”

Their first reunion was at Chadstone Shopping Centre. Soon they both knew that being together would offer them something special.
Margy says she knew things were right with Stavros “I didn’t want to put [myself] out there unless [I] was sure.

“Knowing our vulnerability [through disability], I wanted to make sure that it was the right person. It made it even more special that we both grew up with the same traditions and the same beliefs.”

A strong woman in her own right, Margy knew that together they could pursue a happy life of complementing each other, and helping each other realise their full potential.
“Being around people with a disability means we’re able to share ideas and help others get through the disability as well.”

Before they married, life for Margy was very different to that of Stavros. She was already living away from home, had established a sense of independence and knew what was good and bad about it.
“I think disabled people have an element of wanting to explore independence,” she explains.

So on Stavros’ 30th birthday, he too took the leap of faith for not only independence, but for love and hope. In front of their family and friends, Stavros proposed.
“Looking back now, maybe we would have done things differently and asked our families for more support before we actually went ahead with getting married,” admits Margy.

“These are feelings that you learn along the way by making mistakes. But I thank both sets of parents for the support they’ve given us. Being able to explore our life together has been life changing.”

Stavros and Margy were formally married on Valentine’s Day 2009 in Oakleigh, Victoria, and then had a Greek Orthodox wedding soon after, at the Holy Monastery of Panagia Kamariani in Red Hill.
As members of the Greek Orthodox faith – who have followed the religion since they were born – the ceremony meant so much to them. But it also proved a point, says Margy.

“It proved to other Greek people that people with disabilities can reach their fullest potential if they want, with the right support in place.”

As a married couple living independently, Stavros and Margy rely on daily help.
Separately, both had the level of support they needed to live independently: the challenge was finding an agency that could combine and coordinate their separate hours of assisted care, so they could be together.

“The hardest thing for me was taking the support that already exists, and using it in a productive way. It was very difficult to get an organisation …to believe in what you believe,” says Margy.

Margy works alongside care workers from Victoria’s Department of Health Services to find improve lives for people with disabilities.
As someone who believes in this as strongly as she does, it’s hard to think of a better advocate for the job.
Margy sits on individual support package panels, looking at funding issues for people with disabilities, with the single focus of improving lives for disabled people.

And just by being around them, talking to both Stavros and Margy, it’s easy to see how this couple are reaching their fullest potential.
Their connection is more than being someone’s husband or wife; it’s a friendship that enables them to reach their goals.
It’s the simple things in life that gives Margy and Stavros the most amount of pleasure.

“I get to come home and get to share my day with someone,” says Stavros. “I get to tell Margy how my day was and ask her how hers was.”

“Just when you think you’ve learnt a lot in your life as an adult, married life takes you to the next step. It’s not just you the person anymore; you’ve joined into this married life and you know that it’s forever.

“That’s very easy when it’s also the love of your life,” says Margy with a smile.