“Greeks have a lot of pride, so I feel queer people are afraid to come out because they don’t want to bring ‘shame’ on their family. Being Queer should not be shameful but we are made to feel this way, which is devastating because it can feel like something is ‘wrong’ with you – there isn’t!”
These are the words of Greek-Australian Kat Zam, an online content creator living in Melbourne who for years has felt disconnected from her own culture due to her queer identity.
“It’s always about ‘what will everyone think/say?’. For the individual wanting to come out and embrace their queer identity, there’s fear around disappointing not only your immediate family, but the whole village,” Ms Zam told Neos Kosmos.
“Along with that, the individual and their family may be ostracized from the Greek community or the church which can be devastating. Greeks are all about community!”
The 32-yr-old stressed that coming out is an incredibly difficult thing to do, not just for Greeks but for all migrant groups as they tend to hold onto outdated social values.
“I can’t comment on newly arrived migrants, but the people who migrated to Australia in the 1960’s, for example, still hold the values from the time they left their motherland. However, their home countries have progressed since then,” she said.
Finding identity in the city
Ms Zam moved to Melbourne from a country town 500 kms away in a bid to find herself after coming to grips with her identity and, while the transition was easy in many respects, one thing that proved challenging was blending in with the city’s Hellenic community.
“Today, I don’t find it easy to associate with these parts of the Greek community here in the city, mostly because I don’t feel like I fit in to be honest. I tried going to some Greek events years ago with people my age but I never felt ‘Greek’ enough,” Ms Zam told Neos Kosmos.
The online creator feels that more representation is required in leadership positions in the church and the community to “publicly show their support and extend the filotimo (φιλότιμο) that we are known for to the LGBTQIA+ community”.
“Recently I attended a fundraiser event, run by Kon Karapanagiotidis, where he cooked Greek recipes from his new cookbook to raise money for the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre. It was the most inclusive Greek event I’ve ever been to,” she said.
“All because he has used his platform to publicly support all human beings, from asylum seekers, to the LGBTQIA+ community. Everyone felt welcome.”
Zam urged anyone coming to grips with their queer identity to connect with people from the LGBTQIA+ community (even if only online) as, despite how isolating it can feel, “you are not alone!”.
“These days there are so many safe and inclusive events for queer people. Even if you aren’t ready to come out to your family, it can help if you’re a part of a community where you can be yourself and feel supported. Although it can be hard, sometimes being a part of two different worlds keeps you going,” she said to Neos Kosmos.
The good and bad of social media
Zam has found success in the digital media realm, creating short comedic skits based on family and relatable cultural experiences (both Greek and Australian), in what is a long but rewarding process.
“Filming can take anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours, depending on how many costume changes I have or if I’m filming with someone else, and editing is roughly one or two hours,” she said.
“I love the process of filming and then stringing each video together to create a story to share with people. Plus, I love playing different characters, from Voula and Toula to Aussie mum, so much fun!”
She has received homophobic abuse online due to her sexual orientation, though she does not let it get to her.
“I don’t let them affect me, and previously I turned the hate into comedic skits. Now I mostly ignore them, because their hateful comments have nothing to do with me but are very telling of the type of person they are. I hope they find happiness,” Zam said.
Zam is aiming to grow even further in this space, while aspiring to spread her knowledge to others.
“I definitely want to continue filming my skits, hopefully collaborate with more comedians/content creators, and just keep making people laugh. I’d also like to be a speaker at an event one day or go to rural schools to run career or inclusivity workshops,” Zam said.
Love of culture at a distance from community
Although they were rare, Zam enjoyed the occasions when she would see her extended family from Sydney and Melbourne, with the typical feasts accompanied by Greek music in the background, another thing she adored.
“Greek music is a part of the culture that I love, especially the older songs. I love Nisiotika. The lyrics hold a lot of meaning, like the hardships they went through during the war, and having to leave their motherland to find a better life.”
The content creator, whose family come from Rhodes, has a fondness for her rural upbringing, though acknowledged that it kept her at a distance from her extended family and the Hellenic culture.
“Looking back, it felt isolating. The Greek community was very small back in the 90s/00s and the church only opened for special events like Easter, etc. We also didn’t have a proper Greek school, and I never learned how to do traditional Greek dancing as a kid,” Zam said.
“I often wished I grew up in Sydney because I would’ve been more immersed in the culture. But then I would’ve missed out on the joys of riding the motorbike by the Murray River or feeding the goats, chickens and pigs on the farm.” She definitely has taken to life in the city and finds it a welcoming place all things considered. “Back in my hometown, the nearest shopping centre was an hour away, now it’s five minutes down the road!” Zam said.
“Melbourne is so diverse, so it’s easy to just be yourself because most people are open minded and accepting.”
