In 2008, Christian Lander started a blog about the North American “left-leaning, city-dwelling, white folk”. It was a satirical look at what he thought the stereotype of affluent, environmentally and socially conscious, anti-corporate white North Americans like. The blog is now a book, the book is now a t-shirt and Stuff White People Like is now an acronym – SWPL. Lander has made it. Neos Kosmos took this concept and has created its own tongue-in-cheek list of Stuff Greek People Like.
Frappes
A Greek drink through and through, having a frappe at your local cafe not only screams ‘I AM GREEK’ but also says that you are a cultured soul who has spent time recovering in Santorini with God’s greatest hang over cure – the frappe. Whether it’s sketo, metrio, me gala or without, (Nounou only if you please) there is no doubt how miraculous this wonder drink is. It’s about the only time you will see a Greek guy drinking out of a neon-coloured straw.
DJs
Greek people love DJs, Greek people are DJs. Why is this? Is it because Greek people are filled with so much kefi that only they can get the party started; get the crowd on their feet? Or is it because DJs are treated like gods and Greek mythology is entrenched with gods and god-like stories and it’s a Greek person’s destiny to somehow morph into Zeus. The DJ booth becomes their Mount Olympus and records their sceptre.
Gossip
Let’s face it, Facebook was invented by Greeks for Greeks to know what every Greek is up to. It has replaced our mum’s generation where gossip was spread over the fence, talking about what so and so was wearing at church, what so and so cooked, who Michali, from the horio’s son, is dating. On Facebook we can find out at the click of a button and check their relationship status. But past practices haven’t left us, we still do things the old school way. Don’t Greeks just love spending a whole Friday night with the girls gossiping, or even a Sunday coffee gossiping about what the girl in front of you is wearing. Who cares? Greek people care. Because Greek people love to talk about anything and everything. And Greeks love to gossip. ‘Did you hear about Stelio? No, quick grab a tsigaro and let me tell you.’
Mum’s cooking
The latest generation of celebrity chefs are going back to their roots. You have Frank Camorra of Movida fame banging on about his dad’s home-made jamon, Stephanie Alexander visiting French provincial towns and eating peasant food. And George Calombaris’ mum has been used as a challenge on MasterChef Australia! Suddenly your mum rolling out home-made pastry to make spanakopita looks like the act of a Michelin starred chef and you want the recipe. Handwritten. And the best thing about mum’s cooking – she does it for you so you can sit back and play Xbox.
Island holidays
Skiing in the Swiss alps – not for Greeks. Gambling and catching a show in Vegas – not for Greeks. Walking the Great Wall of China – no, no, no! For Greeks, a holiday means travelling by ferry to a Greek island to soak in the sun and fun for as long as you can. Any chance you can get, you will find a Greek person scantily clad with a tan, wearing Ray-Ban Aviators and doing their best to get drunk, then sleep and swim it off the very next day.
Diesel
An Italian company, Diesel has been adopted by Greeks. At any Greek festival you attend in Australia you will notice that it’s not a sea of loukoumathes, rather a sea of Diesel. And why does this Italian brand suit the Greek body so well? Because this young adult pret-a-porter range is fun and accessible and has an action component to it that says the person wearing it is ready for anything. And Greeks are always up for anything. That’s why we don’t go to bed till 4.00 am… on a Tuesday night.
Buying expensive gifts
A birthday – there goes $200 on a present, a wedding – well that’s two people so expect to lose around $500 and a christening – you want the little one to have a good start in life don’t you? Well, make sure that envelope is big and fat. Whatever happened to ‘it’s the thought that counts’? Not in the Greek community. There is something about the grander the gift in the Greek community. It’s all about who has the most, who is the richest, who is the better friend. I say dump all your friends who aren’t Greek around your birthday and I bet you, a Greek friend will buy you a Wii… for your 43rd birthday, even if you’ve only known them a week.
Action movie stars
When I was young, it was Sylvester Stallone and everyone wanted to be a boxer. Then Jean-Claude Van Damme had his turn when the Greeks were obsessed with all things kickboxing. Now it’s Jason Stratham, Dwayne Johnson (the Rock), Steve Austin (WWF star) and Vin Diesel – one for the ladies. With Greeks loving UFC, how can a few of these stars not make it in this list like Randy Couture who was in The Expendables. Why do Greeks love action movies? Because they think they’re in it. How easy it all looks on the big screen but how many of you have tried to do the crane kick after watching The Karate Kid. “You’re alright LaRusso”.
GHDs
Personal grooming is paramount to all Greeks. Having dead straight hair is a must for women. Greek women believe that the best way to attract a man is to show them your split ends that are sticking out through your perfectly straightened hair. You will notice a common injury throughout the genus woman grecos, that is a tiny burn mark high on their cheeks closest to their ears. A burn mark distinctively made from combination of GHDs and vodka cruisers or GHDs and still waking up in morning. And with meterosexuality – a Greek man thing and not a Beckham thing – you will find the genus manus grecos partaking in some GHD action.
