It’s generally true to say that most of us who grew up in Greek families kept our sexual interactions and adventures – or lack thereof – a secret from our parents. There wasn’t much of bringing boyfriends or girlfriends home and heading to our bedrooms where whatever transpired was our own business behind closed doors. Even for the few of us who weren’t worried about the prospect of homicide, it was an inconceivable notion.

So we made do in other ways. There was a lot of backseat of the car sex or the occasional motel for those who could afford it. Of course, there was always the odd occasion where you knew your parents were not going to be around the house for a few hours – although I know from anecdotal evidence that many of those incidents ended with partners being hidden in cupboards or under beds when the parents arrived hours before they were due.

Now that we find ourselves as parents of young adults and older adolescents, I am witnessing a great deal of self examination and revisiting of our sexual discovery and comparing them to that of our offspring. “I always thought I was open minded,” a friend said to me recently. “I believed there would be no problem about my daughter bringing boys home. And I expected that I would sit down and have the conversation with her when the time came.”

Much to my friend’s surprise, the time came before she expected it and there was no conversation. Her daughter just presumed there would be no issue. “And there isn’t,” my friend insists. “But I’m intrigued by how comfortable my daughter is having sex with her boyfriend under our roof. It’s the last thing I could have imagined when I was 19.”

With soaring rents and house prices out of reach for many young people the phenomenon of our adult children’s dating and mating habits being played out before our eyes is ever increasing. But it’s just not economic factors that are contributing. A lot of us are different from our parents. We are more liberal in our attitudes regarding many issues and our children are more comfortable in our company. There is a more accommodating space for them to express themselves as they grow into adulthood than there was for us in our parental homes. But is this a good thing? What are the ramifications of this extended ‘adolescence’ with benefits which is a feature of our adult children’s lives?

Much has been written about the lack of meaningful independence that can be attained while our offspring continue to live with us in larger numbers. There are books full of advice about how to deal with living with adult children, how to negotiate over issues both social and financial which many Greek parents find hard to do. Last year a relative of mine was struggling with the idea of asking her sons – both in their thirties – to contribute to household bills due to their (and their girlfriends’) excessive water use. “They tell people that they’re still living at home for ‘cultural’ reasons. Interesting that they’re Greek when it suits them.”

There are people better informed to give this advice than me, but if we are the hip, open-minded parents that ours were not, the question begs – what is going to motivate our offspring to leave their family homes?

My Bosnian friend, Miroslav, may have inadvertently found what it might be. His 20-year-old son complained to him that he was horrified one night when his girlfriend was visiting about the noise coming from his parents’ bedroom where some conjugal fun was being had by Miroslav and his wife. “I was embarrassed. Straight away I thought I would have to try to organise sex for when the kids aren’t around, but they come and go at different hours. And then I thought: ‘Hang on, this is our house and if they have a problem, they can deal with it.”

When I laugh at his predicament, he shakes his head at me. “Just wait,” he warns. “It’s going to happen to you too.”